I have been going to bed early and sleeping late. I have been making excuses. I have been way more interested in other people’s business than with my own. I have been avoiding my seat and shrugging off my practice.
And then it all starts coming back. All the little reasons that, several years ago, forced me to squeeze every possible asana class into my already packed schedule and eventual sign up for teaching training. I begin having trouble staying asleep as worries and anxiety find me at 2am. I feel blunted and heavy. I am unsure of myself and am losing ground fast. And still, I just can’t quit my snooze button.
Patanjali speaks of this very thing in the Yoga Sutras, specifically in Sutra 1:30, which addresses distractions and obstacles that can slow down one’s practice. Dullness – check. Laziness – check. Failure to reach firm ground – check. Slipping from the ground gained – check. What I’m going through seems to be pretty common. It’s so common that a whole sutra is dedicated to it. And Patanjali’s remedy? Just keep going. Concentrate on just one part of your practice, cultivate new attitudes, come back to your breath, reconnect with the Source.
I’ve been here with my practice before and will undoubtedly be here again. I have learned that when my practice slows, I’m usually on the verge of discovering something new and momentous. Something is coming that will require a lot of energy and attention. My body and spirit know I need to rest to prepare myself.
So, I choose to work on trusting the process. I practice being brave enough to let go and having faith that what I need will return. I allow myself to retreat briefly. I bring my practice into my everyday life, into my home and the time I spend with my family. I focus on the present moment as much as possible and just breathe. And tomorrow morning, I will pull the covers up for five more minutes and know it’s for the best.
Yoga teacher, life coach and recovering attorney; tireless supporter of authentic living, stubborn follower of dreams